Life doesn't always go according to plan. This is a fact. And it sucks. Sometimes life leaves you wanting and sometimes it leaves you sprawled out on the ground in a big chaotic mess of misery. Sometimes, I really don't like my life. I don't like existing at all. Sometimes I wish I was nothing more than a dream, concocted out of imagination and faded away before any memory could take hold. But I'm here and this is now and really happening. And I should be more grateful about it!
In truth, I am totally grateful for the burden of being. I love so much about my life but those things can often be overshadowed by the all consuming reality of what life throws my way. Sometimes we are so caught up in everything we don’t have that we fail to appreciate all that we do. Miss Sucky is particularly good at focusing her energies on her ‘have not’s.’ And when you do that, when you spend all your time being aware of what you don’t have, you can’t savor what you do.
We need to take the blinders off and recognize that life is beautiful. We know this when things are going our way; it's just a lot more difficult to remember when things are not. We all have our moments when the Miss (or Mr.) Sucky comes out and we only see the decay not the decadence. I have my low moments when I feel completely abandoned, hopeless, helpless, unloved and unlovable. Where nothing I do or think or say seems to work in my favor. That’s Miss Sucky’s mindset and it’s not always easy to avoid, or overcome. But I need to remember that even as Miss Sucky, I have everything going for me. But on those dark and dreary days when it feels like the only thing going for me is a one way ticket to despair, it’s hard to remember that.
My mission lately is to adjust my focus, cultivate an attitude of gratitude and stop being so busy focusing on what I haven't yet achieved and start honoring all that I have thus far accomplished. I have survived heartaches and heartbreak, false friends and dreams that have not quite materialized. And I have been abundantly blessed with a kindred spirit, a family that supports me and living a life that has more opportunity than most people in this world will ever get. Miss Awesome knows how amazing her life is. She just has to get that through Miss Sucky's somewhat thick skull!
So the goal this week, and quite possibly forever, is to rejoice in what I have and what has come my way so far. To appreciate my successes that can’t always be measured. Now this isn’t to say that I’m going to vegetate on my couch and cease all visions of what I want my life to be. No, I will still be a dreamer. I will still hold on to what I think I should be doing with my life and work towards achieving that goal. But I’m gonna cut myself some slack. I’m going to stop letting Miss Sucky dictate to me about all my failings and allow Miss Awesome to congratulate me on my life thus far. I’m a pretty lucky girl.
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