This moment

Life. We under appreciate it. We undervalue it. We belittle our existence and often feel beleaguered by it.
We spend our lives waiting for something to happen to us or for us.
We want, we hope, we dream and yet we seldom do.
We kick and scream when things don’t go our way (well, I know I do) and we curse the cosmos more frequently then we thank it.
We look at what we don’t have and forget to be grateful for all that we do.
We watch the seasons fade into each other, over and over again till years stretch out and we are left with the bitter taste of regret for a life half lived.

All we have is now. This moment. There will never be another moment like this one. Another day grows dark and the clock ticks forever forward. We cannot undo the mistakes of yesterday. The broken promises. The unfulfilled dreams. All we have is now. Here. Today.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately as I ponder what it is I’m supposed to be doing- really doing - with my life. And not even in the grand schemes of what I hope and dream to do, but in the small, everyday moments. For a long time I thought life was passing me by. I thought that somehow, the universe had conspired against me to take all that I am and hope to be and toss it aside like chaff in the wind. That’s Miss Sucky’s way of thinking. Miss Sucky wants others; anything and anyone to wear the blame for her own sorry self. But Miss Sucky put herself on the shelf. She got scared. What if the world rejected her as it surely must? What if she really doesn’t have the goods to make her dreams come true? What if her dreams are delusions, her ‘talents’ mere illusions? What if it all goes her way? Miss Sucky likes to think she’s brave, but it’s not brave to sit back and hide who you are. It’s not even prudent. It’s a shame. It’s a tragedy. Life is meant to be lived, in all its glory and agony. Life is meant to be pursued like a great love, savored like a fine wine, lived as though every moment counted. Cause truth is, every moment does count. The clock is ticking. I don’t want to hear regret with every tick forward. I want to live a life of purpose. I want to be Miss Awesome in all the moments of my life.

Some moments are easier lived than others, but every moment adds value to a life. We shape who we are and what we will become just as much as any of the people who traverse through our lives, or the obstacles, trials and triumphs we face. Life can be hard. It can be agonizingly painful. You can feel like you are just continually botching it up. Some days I feel like crawling into a black hole and folding in on myself until I’m obliterated from all existence. Some days, I don’t much like life at all and Miss Awesome has to work overtime to convince me otherwise. We should take it while we can get it because before too long it’s all over. The fat lady will sing and the lights will be put out and our dash will be done.

In “The Year of the Sally,” (feel free to insert your name here) it’s about recognizing that we have a choice to make each moment. Many moments will pass us by, seemingly indifferent and inconsequential. But there will be moments that will define the other moments around it; the minutes, hours, days that follow. So today, in this moment I pledge this to myself. I pledge that I will live consciously. I will strive to recognize those moments, big and small that define me. I pledge that I will endeavor to not get caught up in the things that don’t matter, and be receptive to the things that do. Today is my day. Here and now. It’s all I have and all that has been promised to me. I only get one life to be the best Sally I can be. There is much to do.