I've spent years investing into other people's lives. I've given time, money, ideas, my heart and humor. I've invested but my returns have been minimal for the most part. In fact, in many cases, I've become bankrupt. My spirit, my soul, my heart have become destitute by my overwhelming support and sowing into others lives. Now I'm not saying that all my investments have been bad- but many have come at the expense of my own self. There is little point in investing in others if you are not investing in your own life. And there is no point in investing in something that gives you nothing in return. I've been looking over my life in the past few weeks and I have come to realize that I need to stop sending myself bankrupt. I need to make wiser investments. I need to invest in the one person who won't let me down. Who won't use and abuse my generosity, my kind nature or my sincere willingness to leave an indelible mark in someone's life. This year, I'm investing in me.
I should have done it years ago. Perhaps if I had, I'd be living the life I've always wanted to live. Perhaps if I had just given more regard for myself instead of playing martyr and trying to be all things to all people, I would have made greater leaps and bounds then where I am now. But that is just conjecture. Everything happens for a reason and in the right time. Maybe all the things that have led me to this point are the very things required to get me where I need to be. Now is the time. I am ready. Ready to move forward, to focus, to chase down dreams and not let anyone or anything (especially myself) get in my way.
It's time to shake off the shackles that tell me that anything I do for myself is pure selfishness. I regard selfishness as one of the most ugly characteristics one can be lumbered with. I hate selfish people and it disturbs me to think that I might be perceived that way. But I've taken being selfless to the point of ridiculousness. Honestly, my selflessness could have me working a full time job as a doormat. So I'm drawing a line and staking my claim. This gal will no longer be a doormat or sounding board or heartbreak hotel. No more will I allow myself to pick up all the pieces, unpack the baggage or clear the garbage. I'll still invest in people, but I'll be smarter about it. Some relationships I've formed will have to go. The ones that take but never give. The ones that leave me drained, tear strained and short changed.
I hope that as you read this, you will consider the investments of your own life. Are they worth it? Are they a resource or a drain on your capital? If you are investing in someone who is equally investing in you, hold on tight. But if you are the one doing all the work, then maybe it's worth a second look. Alternatively, you might be someone who needs to start investing in others. It's all about balance. A life full of joy and peace is one that gives AND receives and knows when to hold back for themselves. We can't invest in anyone else when our own well is dry. This is my year, your year, our year to make our investments work for us...and there is no better place to start then from within.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
A New Year has Sprung
Happy New Year. It's a standard greeting we say leading up and at the turn of a new year. But are we selling ourselves a false promise? What makes us believe that this year will be happy? Will it be better or even any different from the one that came before? So often we go through our daily motions, living according to a roster or patterns or other people's demands on our time and not really taking time to make a moment count. Then, we come to the end of a year and suddenly our focus is on all the things we didn't quite do or how we are going to implement a new life choice into our already somewhat overcrowded existence. Along with the turn of another year is the countdown for all the promises we make to ourselves. Things we plan to do better, changes we plan to instigate, resolutions we plan to stick with. It's a whole new world and a whole new clean slate. We fool ourselves into thinking that "this will be THE year that everything changes." But nothing changes if we don't.
New Year Resolutions often fail because we don't ensure they succeed. We expect that thinking about something will be enough. It isn't. We can't create a world we want by just thinking about it. Dreams and imagination are vital to us all. Without them, we surely perish. But a life built in dreams cannot sustain us. If you want something to change in your life, it isn't enough to just think about it. Of even just talk about it (Or write about it for that matter.) Our life changes because (and when) WE make changes. Change comes from DOING; not from lip service. We all know at least one person who talks a big talk, but doesn't back up what they say with action (We are often guilty of that crime ourselves.) Words, strung together into a coherent sentence can be beguiling. I am a writer. Words are my passion, but words are easily spoken, and easily broken. There is an expression about "A man is his word." Reality is, is that a man is his deed. Words mean nothing if that is all they remain and never bear fruit.
Looking back over the past year, I can see the progresses I've made, along with the ruts I've stayed stuck in. I've changed in many ways, but I have a long road ahead. This year will no doubt bring new challenges, fresh heartbreak, renewed friendships and salvaged dreams. It can be whatever I make of it. Some things will fall outside of my control. But I have control over many of the things that will crop up in the coming days, months and year ahead. So here is one of my resolutions for the coming year- I resolve to do more and think less. This is a big challenge for me because I am very much a thinker. I spend a lot of time lost in the avenues of my mind. As a writer, my thinking is action put to paper. But this year, I want to be a person, not just of thought, but of deed. I want to follow through on some of my ideas, my hopes and dreams and ambitions. I want to do, not just be. So you bear witness to this resolution. The proof will be in the doing, not just in merely a current thought shared here. Here's to a new year filled with opportunities, challenges and change.
New Year Resolutions often fail because we don't ensure they succeed. We expect that thinking about something will be enough. It isn't. We can't create a world we want by just thinking about it. Dreams and imagination are vital to us all. Without them, we surely perish. But a life built in dreams cannot sustain us. If you want something to change in your life, it isn't enough to just think about it. Of even just talk about it (Or write about it for that matter.) Our life changes because (and when) WE make changes. Change comes from DOING; not from lip service. We all know at least one person who talks a big talk, but doesn't back up what they say with action (We are often guilty of that crime ourselves.) Words, strung together into a coherent sentence can be beguiling. I am a writer. Words are my passion, but words are easily spoken, and easily broken. There is an expression about "A man is his word." Reality is, is that a man is his deed. Words mean nothing if that is all they remain and never bear fruit.
Looking back over the past year, I can see the progresses I've made, along with the ruts I've stayed stuck in. I've changed in many ways, but I have a long road ahead. This year will no doubt bring new challenges, fresh heartbreak, renewed friendships and salvaged dreams. It can be whatever I make of it. Some things will fall outside of my control. But I have control over many of the things that will crop up in the coming days, months and year ahead. So here is one of my resolutions for the coming year- I resolve to do more and think less. This is a big challenge for me because I am very much a thinker. I spend a lot of time lost in the avenues of my mind. As a writer, my thinking is action put to paper. But this year, I want to be a person, not just of thought, but of deed. I want to follow through on some of my ideas, my hopes and dreams and ambitions. I want to do, not just be. So you bear witness to this resolution. The proof will be in the doing, not just in merely a current thought shared here. Here's to a new year filled with opportunities, challenges and change.
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