Step Out

Have you ever watched a butterfly hatch out of its chrysalis? There is a struggle in this rebirth, one that the butterfly must go through alone in order to be strong enough to fly. As a child, I wanted to help the butterfly out of its cocoon, but my help would have led to its certain death. It needed to find its own way out if it wanted to survive. Life can be a bit like that for all of us. Sometimes we have to let other people fight their own battles and find their own truth. That's not to say that we can't offer our support, our love, even our knowledge and personal experience. But we can't walk the road for them. Each of us has to do that part alone.

Life can be an arduous journey and a difficult road. It’s filled with pot holes, hill slides, debris, raging rivers and gentle meandering pathways. And while we can walk the roads together, ultimately, we are alone. So why do we invest so much time and energy in worrying about what others think about us?

I would hate to calculate the lost years I have spent in anxiety over what other people think of me. Truthfully, it shouldn’t really matter. But it does, doesn’t it! Because deep down, within all of us, there is that small child wanting approval, striving for recognition and craving love. This year, in my year of embracing my awesomeness, I am also hoping to shake off the things which have kept me bound to a lesser life. Most of the time, these shackles are self-imposed. I probably imagine other people’s expectations are greater than they really are. I probably think that I factor in peoples minds more than I really do; which is kind of a self-centred way of looking at people if you think about it. I’ve been so caught up wondering what other people think of me when in truth they are probably doing the exact same thing.

It’s time to break out of own our bindings and live the life we were destined for. I’ll use my kindred spirit as an example. He is my best friend, and probably one of the few people who know me almost as well as I know myself. He is one of the most honest people I know, but for years he had denied a part of himself, who he was and is, all the while living in the shadows of all he should be. My kindred spirit recently shared some news with me. I was the first person he shared this news with and it was an honour for me to be there as he took that first step on his road to embracing himself as a whole person. Call it 'coming out' or 'stepping out,' what my friend did was acknowledge that he was living a life that was tainted by half truths and hidden deceit. As he has acknowledged who he is, I have witnessed a metamorphosis of a man who was enslaved by expectations and fear to one who is free. It's been a beautiful thing to watch. Life is a journey to self-discovery. And not just in the discovery of who we are, but how we can be the best of ourselves. But we can’t be the best of ourselves without stepping out into who we are.

I have been smart enough (alright, more likely just lucky enough) to surround myself with people who inspire me in some way every day. My closest allies are those whom I know encourage me to walk my own path and they give me the courage to step out and let the real me shine through. I only hope that I do the same for others. My kindred spirit has been an instigator in setting me free. His love and total acceptance of who I am, regardless of whether I am channelling Miss Awesome or subjecting the world to Miss Sucky, has meant that I am much more settled and much more confident in showing the world who I am. It’s given me the security to step into who I should be. He encourages me, but ultimately, it’s up to me to travel the road. Just like the butterfly, who must use its wings to find the strength to fly, I must use my inner tenacity to achieve my dreams and live my life being true and awesome and whole.