John Lennon was stating the obvious when he said "Life is what happens to us when we are busy making other plans." Life happens whether we are ready or not. And not everything that comes our way is gonna make us happy. Let's face it, sometimes the things that happen to us really suck. But every life experience is an opportunity to learn. Learn about ourselves, about others, about the world and hopefully those lessons, if carefully cultivated, allow us to become the best person we can be.
I believe that every life experience that comes our way, every bump in the road, every blimp on the radar, every hurdle, every rise and every fall or blazed trail, every hit or miss; all of it shapes us. All serves to enrich us. But so often when bad things happen, we are so busy focused on the calamity of the situation that we can't see the good. Bad things happen. Each of us are burdened by sorrows and tragedies. We who live, suffer. We lose loved ones and sometimes even ourselves. Pain etches its name upon our soul. Hearts can be irrevocably broken. Our minds can falter and decay. Anger can stifle the beauty of who we are. And we can let those wounds fester and infect until what once could have been an opportunity for growth and beauty becomes an ugly scar upon our own humanity.
I've been thinking a lot about attitude lately. I don't always have the best attitude. I can be surly and rude. I can be condescending and obnoxious. To put it bluntly; I can be a real bitch. But I take some comfort in knowing that this applies to everyone else in existence too. I'm not alone in my wretchedness!
We can often let our attitude be the focus of our corresponding behavior. I HATE working on beautiful days because it sucks to be stuck in doors. Miss Sucky will bemoan the fact. She resents being tethered to a desk and telephone cord and glued to a computer screen. This can make for a grumpy Sally - and that ain't a good thing for anybody! Miss Awesome, however, appreciates that she at least has a window from which to gaze upon a day full of blue shies and sunshine. She appreciates that she has a job which provides her an income and therefore a home she loves and a lifestyle that she can enjoy. I am blessed.
Sometimes it is hard for us to recognize our blessings. Sometimes, we feel like we have to go searching for them. Yet most of the time they are right there in front of us, if we would but choose to see them. It's time to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. This doesn't mean that i can't have moments where I am Miss Sucky- but it should mean those moments become fewer and shorter! It's time to focus on all that is right and good and wonderful in my life, rather than invest energy in what is not. Life can get in the way of recognizing all our good. We can get in the way of recognizing all our good. So the lesson I am trying to learn and retain is to cultivate an attitude that celebrates my good. To grow an attitude that honors my successes and my struggles. I want to embrace my life - all of it. I want to recognize that even when I feel down and out, even when I feel lost and low, that that is still a chance to rejoice in this amazing gift that I have been given.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
judgement
I have come to a decision about my life. I'm going to stop letting people walk all over me. I'm going to allow myself to be free and not live under unrealistic obligations. I'm going to listen to what is right for me, and do what is right for me in every situation i face. I'm going to stop feeling pressured by myself and by those around me. I'm going to walk my own path and not get stuck in the ruts of others expectations. I'm going to put ME first, at least once in a while.
I'm not very good to myself. Even though I declare this to be the "year of the Sally," it still has been very much the year of everybody else. My focus has been on how to make those in my life feel happy and safe and free and yet I often have to suppress my true thoughts or feelings. Why do I do this? Why do any of us! three small words come to mind: To avoid conflict.
I don't want people to dislike me, or feel like I am judging them for the choices they make. But judging is also a part of human nature. I avoid it like the plague, but I'm guilty of it just the same. And I have been judging people. Not in what they do or things they say or how they live their lives, but in how I think they judge me. I keep people at bay, passing judgment on how I think they'll perceive me. Which makes me think- when we judge people are we really judging them or does it come back to how we feel about ourselves? Maybe everything we do or think about others is, in actuality, a truer reflection of how we think and feel about who we are.
just something to think about
I'm not very good to myself. Even though I declare this to be the "year of the Sally," it still has been very much the year of everybody else. My focus has been on how to make those in my life feel happy and safe and free and yet I often have to suppress my true thoughts or feelings. Why do I do this? Why do any of us! three small words come to mind: To avoid conflict.
I don't want people to dislike me, or feel like I am judging them for the choices they make. But judging is also a part of human nature. I avoid it like the plague, but I'm guilty of it just the same. And I have been judging people. Not in what they do or things they say or how they live their lives, but in how I think they judge me. I keep people at bay, passing judgment on how I think they'll perceive me. Which makes me think- when we judge people are we really judging them or does it come back to how we feel about ourselves? Maybe everything we do or think about others is, in actuality, a truer reflection of how we think and feel about who we are.
just something to think about
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Choices
I don't generally watch the news. Mostly because I seldom watch TV,and I work until 8pm, but there is also something to be said for the depressing nature of the majority of mainstream news stories. But today I found myself at home, with no internet (it's a new house and we are still waiting...as patiently as one can in this world of me and now!) and a poor selection of channels to surf. So I stumbled across an early news broadcast and thought I might as well see what was happening out there in the world. One short news article later, I was done and thoroughly dejected. The story was about how the body of an elderly woman was discovered in her home. Eight years after she had been deceased. Eight years and no one had missed her.
The thought that someone can live a lifetime, die and not be missed is not just depressing, but truly hideous. Sadly it says a lot about the way she lived her life, and about the way our society takes care of each other. Or to be more blunt- doesn't take care of each other.
How does one live to be almost in their eighties and not have anyone notice their death? It gets me worried. I mean, potentially this could happen to me. It won't obviously, because I am Miss Awesome, but Miss Sucky is freaking out just a smidge! What made this woman get to her 79th year and not have a friend or family member in all the world to check up on her? How could she have spent all those years on this earth and be forgotten?
None of us want to be forgotten. We want to leave an indelible mark on at least one person. Well I know I do! I feel so sad for this poor woman who must have lived as she died...alone. I don't know the circumstances surrounding her death or her life, but can only imagine that it must have been a lonely existence if she lay there on her bedroom floor, decaying for eight years and no one was any the wiser. It is a powerful lesson in how tragic life is when we live only for ourselves.
So my thought for today is this: To live a life that matters. Not just to me but to those around me. Life is not about closing yourself off to the world and shutting people out. I know what it's like to want to walk away from humanity. I have been so deeply wounded at times that I have considered becoming a hermit. I'm totally serious, which for those that know me would think a ridiculous notion and one that I would be incapable of sticking too. It is true that I am a social butterfly and I thrive with human contact but I understand the sometimes insatiable need to run away from all things human because sometimes the world is a dark and scary place. It's a defense mechanism to withdraw from people when we are hurting. Life hurts sometimes. It really does. Life creates pain and chaos and sometimes etches deep wounds into our hearts and minds. But to pull away from people, from all that this world has to offer us because of pain, creates a mentality of victimization and cultivates hearts that were never meant to grow hard. We do ourselves a disservice by sounding a long term retreat.
We know nothing about this woman's life. I don't know why she had no family or friends or even neighbors that noticed she was missing from their lives. What a lonely existence she must have forged for herself. One where she belonged nowhere and to no one. As a single woman it gives me pause to think. But I know that her fate need not be my own, nor be any ones destiny. Life is a series of choices. I choose to live life. I choose to make people an important part of my life. I choose to not be a victim but to take the knocks and curve balls and pain and become a better Miss Awesome. Life is not a game but it does require activate participation. I choose to participate. How about you?
The thought that someone can live a lifetime, die and not be missed is not just depressing, but truly hideous. Sadly it says a lot about the way she lived her life, and about the way our society takes care of each other. Or to be more blunt- doesn't take care of each other.
How does one live to be almost in their eighties and not have anyone notice their death? It gets me worried. I mean, potentially this could happen to me. It won't obviously, because I am Miss Awesome, but Miss Sucky is freaking out just a smidge! What made this woman get to her 79th year and not have a friend or family member in all the world to check up on her? How could she have spent all those years on this earth and be forgotten?
None of us want to be forgotten. We want to leave an indelible mark on at least one person. Well I know I do! I feel so sad for this poor woman who must have lived as she died...alone. I don't know the circumstances surrounding her death or her life, but can only imagine that it must have been a lonely existence if she lay there on her bedroom floor, decaying for eight years and no one was any the wiser. It is a powerful lesson in how tragic life is when we live only for ourselves.
So my thought for today is this: To live a life that matters. Not just to me but to those around me. Life is not about closing yourself off to the world and shutting people out. I know what it's like to want to walk away from humanity. I have been so deeply wounded at times that I have considered becoming a hermit. I'm totally serious, which for those that know me would think a ridiculous notion and one that I would be incapable of sticking too. It is true that I am a social butterfly and I thrive with human contact but I understand the sometimes insatiable need to run away from all things human because sometimes the world is a dark and scary place. It's a defense mechanism to withdraw from people when we are hurting. Life hurts sometimes. It really does. Life creates pain and chaos and sometimes etches deep wounds into our hearts and minds. But to pull away from people, from all that this world has to offer us because of pain, creates a mentality of victimization and cultivates hearts that were never meant to grow hard. We do ourselves a disservice by sounding a long term retreat.
We know nothing about this woman's life. I don't know why she had no family or friends or even neighbors that noticed she was missing from their lives. What a lonely existence she must have forged for herself. One where she belonged nowhere and to no one. As a single woman it gives me pause to think. But I know that her fate need not be my own, nor be any ones destiny. Life is a series of choices. I choose to live life. I choose to make people an important part of my life. I choose to not be a victim but to take the knocks and curve balls and pain and become a better Miss Awesome. Life is not a game but it does require activate participation. I choose to participate. How about you?
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