Things aren't necessarily going according to plan. But I console myself with the knowledge, that at least, I have a plan in place, which is a good starting point. This whole 'plan' business is quite a stretch for someone like me- I'm unstructured, people rather than goal orientated, and easily distracted by bright and shining new objects. I have plans, dreams, goals...it's just that I haven't really known how to go about successfully pursuing those things. I like to think that I am a woman of action, and sometimes that is exactly what I am. Except when I am not. It could just be my wishful thinking here, (cause let's face it, I am secretly hoping that everyone's life is just as screwed up as mine!) but I think most people will be able to identify with me a little. Of course it's highly possible that I am indeed the ONLY person who does not have my entire life all together in perfect harmony...but I know people, and quite frankly we all suck sometimes and it's that knowledge that gives me hope that I am not the only person to feel like they are faltering on the runway to their success.
"Alright," you say, "Are you actually going to get to a point Miss Blonde? Or are you just going to ramble along incessantly, creating some of the world's longest, jimble, jumble of sentences along the way?"
I guess my point is this: I've spent a lifetime avoiding making a "plan" because I saw it as an enemy to my success. Actually, the only enemy to my success has been ME and my unwillingness to stretch forth my hands, to step out and present to the world who I am and all that I can be. Have you ever done that? Acted small and insignificant cause you mistakenly thought you were? Have you stopped yourself from going places (and I don't mean by car, train or other modes of transportation) or taken yourself out of the running by not even getting involved in the first place? I've done that more times than I am probably aware. I have been content to wallow in my dreams rather than chase them.
The past year has been a huge learning curve for me. It's been full of small successes and some great pains. I've taken steps forward and then fallen back. But that is life. It's fluid. It's full of moments of greatness intermingled with agony. One day can be nothing but sunshine and glee, the next, a darkened room full of haze and mirrors.
I've been learning to make a plan...not just a general wanting, but an actual plan that will yield results. Some days the plan works in my favor, and other times it feels like a big waste of space and effort. At the moment, some things are not going according to plan. But then most of those things are the expectations and "plans" other people think i should have. And that's the other thing I am working on- trying to stop focusing on what other people anticipate my life should be. I'm focused on what I really want and working out ways to make that happen. It's scary, let me tell you. But I think that life should be a little scary. I think when we stop challenging ourselves, stop putting ourselves out there, stop learning and growing and moving forward, we become stagnant. This to me is a fate worse than death. In fact, kill me, please, if I reduce myself to nothing more than being complacent. That's not part of the plan. And while its in slow motion at the moment, I know that at least I am on my way. And maybe, if I can truly learn to stop fighting myself, I might actually get there; to the end of this plan. Just in time to start a new one all over again.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Pick your investments
I've spent years investing into other people's lives. I've given time, money, ideas, my heart and humor. I've invested but my returns have been minimal for the most part. In fact, in many cases, I've become bankrupt. My spirit, my soul, my heart have become destitute by my overwhelming support and sowing into others lives. Now I'm not saying that all my investments have been bad- but many have come at the expense of my own self. There is little point in investing in others if you are not investing in your own life. And there is no point in investing in something that gives you nothing in return. I've been looking over my life in the past few weeks and I have come to realize that I need to stop sending myself bankrupt. I need to make wiser investments. I need to invest in the one person who won't let me down. Who won't use and abuse my generosity, my kind nature or my sincere willingness to leave an indelible mark in someone's life. This year, I'm investing in me.
I should have done it years ago. Perhaps if I had, I'd be living the life I've always wanted to live. Perhaps if I had just given more regard for myself instead of playing martyr and trying to be all things to all people, I would have made greater leaps and bounds then where I am now. But that is just conjecture. Everything happens for a reason and in the right time. Maybe all the things that have led me to this point are the very things required to get me where I need to be. Now is the time. I am ready. Ready to move forward, to focus, to chase down dreams and not let anyone or anything (especially myself) get in my way.
It's time to shake off the shackles that tell me that anything I do for myself is pure selfishness. I regard selfishness as one of the most ugly characteristics one can be lumbered with. I hate selfish people and it disturbs me to think that I might be perceived that way. But I've taken being selfless to the point of ridiculousness. Honestly, my selflessness could have me working a full time job as a doormat. So I'm drawing a line and staking my claim. This gal will no longer be a doormat or sounding board or heartbreak hotel. No more will I allow myself to pick up all the pieces, unpack the baggage or clear the garbage. I'll still invest in people, but I'll be smarter about it. Some relationships I've formed will have to go. The ones that take but never give. The ones that leave me drained, tear strained and short changed.
I hope that as you read this, you will consider the investments of your own life. Are they worth it? Are they a resource or a drain on your capital? If you are investing in someone who is equally investing in you, hold on tight. But if you are the one doing all the work, then maybe it's worth a second look. Alternatively, you might be someone who needs to start investing in others. It's all about balance. A life full of joy and peace is one that gives AND receives and knows when to hold back for themselves. We can't invest in anyone else when our own well is dry. This is my year, your year, our year to make our investments work for us...and there is no better place to start then from within.
I should have done it years ago. Perhaps if I had, I'd be living the life I've always wanted to live. Perhaps if I had just given more regard for myself instead of playing martyr and trying to be all things to all people, I would have made greater leaps and bounds then where I am now. But that is just conjecture. Everything happens for a reason and in the right time. Maybe all the things that have led me to this point are the very things required to get me where I need to be. Now is the time. I am ready. Ready to move forward, to focus, to chase down dreams and not let anyone or anything (especially myself) get in my way.
It's time to shake off the shackles that tell me that anything I do for myself is pure selfishness. I regard selfishness as one of the most ugly characteristics one can be lumbered with. I hate selfish people and it disturbs me to think that I might be perceived that way. But I've taken being selfless to the point of ridiculousness. Honestly, my selflessness could have me working a full time job as a doormat. So I'm drawing a line and staking my claim. This gal will no longer be a doormat or sounding board or heartbreak hotel. No more will I allow myself to pick up all the pieces, unpack the baggage or clear the garbage. I'll still invest in people, but I'll be smarter about it. Some relationships I've formed will have to go. The ones that take but never give. The ones that leave me drained, tear strained and short changed.
I hope that as you read this, you will consider the investments of your own life. Are they worth it? Are they a resource or a drain on your capital? If you are investing in someone who is equally investing in you, hold on tight. But if you are the one doing all the work, then maybe it's worth a second look. Alternatively, you might be someone who needs to start investing in others. It's all about balance. A life full of joy and peace is one that gives AND receives and knows when to hold back for themselves. We can't invest in anyone else when our own well is dry. This is my year, your year, our year to make our investments work for us...and there is no better place to start then from within.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
A New Year has Sprung
Happy New Year. It's a standard greeting we say leading up and at the turn of a new year. But are we selling ourselves a false promise? What makes us believe that this year will be happy? Will it be better or even any different from the one that came before? So often we go through our daily motions, living according to a roster or patterns or other people's demands on our time and not really taking time to make a moment count. Then, we come to the end of a year and suddenly our focus is on all the things we didn't quite do or how we are going to implement a new life choice into our already somewhat overcrowded existence. Along with the turn of another year is the countdown for all the promises we make to ourselves. Things we plan to do better, changes we plan to instigate, resolutions we plan to stick with. It's a whole new world and a whole new clean slate. We fool ourselves into thinking that "this will be THE year that everything changes." But nothing changes if we don't.
New Year Resolutions often fail because we don't ensure they succeed. We expect that thinking about something will be enough. It isn't. We can't create a world we want by just thinking about it. Dreams and imagination are vital to us all. Without them, we surely perish. But a life built in dreams cannot sustain us. If you want something to change in your life, it isn't enough to just think about it. Of even just talk about it (Or write about it for that matter.) Our life changes because (and when) WE make changes. Change comes from DOING; not from lip service. We all know at least one person who talks a big talk, but doesn't back up what they say with action (We are often guilty of that crime ourselves.) Words, strung together into a coherent sentence can be beguiling. I am a writer. Words are my passion, but words are easily spoken, and easily broken. There is an expression about "A man is his word." Reality is, is that a man is his deed. Words mean nothing if that is all they remain and never bear fruit.
Looking back over the past year, I can see the progresses I've made, along with the ruts I've stayed stuck in. I've changed in many ways, but I have a long road ahead. This year will no doubt bring new challenges, fresh heartbreak, renewed friendships and salvaged dreams. It can be whatever I make of it. Some things will fall outside of my control. But I have control over many of the things that will crop up in the coming days, months and year ahead. So here is one of my resolutions for the coming year- I resolve to do more and think less. This is a big challenge for me because I am very much a thinker. I spend a lot of time lost in the avenues of my mind. As a writer, my thinking is action put to paper. But this year, I want to be a person, not just of thought, but of deed. I want to follow through on some of my ideas, my hopes and dreams and ambitions. I want to do, not just be. So you bear witness to this resolution. The proof will be in the doing, not just in merely a current thought shared here. Here's to a new year filled with opportunities, challenges and change.
New Year Resolutions often fail because we don't ensure they succeed. We expect that thinking about something will be enough. It isn't. We can't create a world we want by just thinking about it. Dreams and imagination are vital to us all. Without them, we surely perish. But a life built in dreams cannot sustain us. If you want something to change in your life, it isn't enough to just think about it. Of even just talk about it (Or write about it for that matter.) Our life changes because (and when) WE make changes. Change comes from DOING; not from lip service. We all know at least one person who talks a big talk, but doesn't back up what they say with action (We are often guilty of that crime ourselves.) Words, strung together into a coherent sentence can be beguiling. I am a writer. Words are my passion, but words are easily spoken, and easily broken. There is an expression about "A man is his word." Reality is, is that a man is his deed. Words mean nothing if that is all they remain and never bear fruit.
Looking back over the past year, I can see the progresses I've made, along with the ruts I've stayed stuck in. I've changed in many ways, but I have a long road ahead. This year will no doubt bring new challenges, fresh heartbreak, renewed friendships and salvaged dreams. It can be whatever I make of it. Some things will fall outside of my control. But I have control over many of the things that will crop up in the coming days, months and year ahead. So here is one of my resolutions for the coming year- I resolve to do more and think less. This is a big challenge for me because I am very much a thinker. I spend a lot of time lost in the avenues of my mind. As a writer, my thinking is action put to paper. But this year, I want to be a person, not just of thought, but of deed. I want to follow through on some of my ideas, my hopes and dreams and ambitions. I want to do, not just be. So you bear witness to this resolution. The proof will be in the doing, not just in merely a current thought shared here. Here's to a new year filled with opportunities, challenges and change.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
2011 reflections
It’s been an up and down year for me. I made a best friend and lost a best friend. I fell in and out of love. I moved homes, and switched jobs. I have had moments of suffering and experienced a multitude of joys.
I have lived.
In many ways, as I sit here and write this on the last day of my year, I feel like I have taken more steps back then forward. But this is not the truth. Life is a series of falls and rises. Some of them are big and alter our lives in profound ways. Some of them are small and seemingly inconsequential. But all our falls are opportunities to rise, having grown and hopefully bettered ourselves.
I am in the middle of a fall at present. From Miss Sucky’s perspective, my whole world is crumbling around me and melting into an abyss of nothingness. Miss Awesome knows better. What seems like a never ending merry –go-round of pain and agony is in actuality only temporal. This too shall pass. I can and will pick myself up from the ashes and rise again. And instead of fighting it, I have decided to embrace this fall. I know that even in my hurt, my brokenness and my disillusionment, that my life still is something beautiful and worth fighting for.
I’ve had moments recently when Miss Sucky has swept in with her pessimistic attitude and laid out a pretty convincing reason or two to give up. But I am not Miss Sucky. I am Miss Awesome, and even in this pit of despair, that is my truth. So I look back over the year with mixed feelings but no regrets. I am glad that I am so capable of loving. That I am willing to be in touch with my emotions and give them room. So many people allow their past hurts to stay with them. They carry them forward into the next chapters of their lives and allow those hurts to tarnish all that they touch.
It is my mission to not let all my pain color and distort my future. Bad things befall us all. Life is hard. It hurts. Sometimes we take a sucker punch to the jaw. But we must find a way to move beyond the pieces. I refuse to allow my past and current hurts to dictate my coming year. Instead, I look forward to 2012. May it be a year of growth. May I fall and rise again and again. I welcome its breath on my face. I anticipate that, like previous years, 2012 will be one of highs and lows. I have learnt so much this past year. Most of this learning has come from the fires of suffering. But I am a better, stronger and healthier person for those experiences. Miss Sucky may tremble at the thought of another oncoming year, but Miss Awesome raises up her hands and shouts “Here I am!” So thank you 2011, for all that has been. And Welcome 2012…. May this year be as rich and chaotic and challenging and wonderful as those that have come before.
I have lived.
In many ways, as I sit here and write this on the last day of my year, I feel like I have taken more steps back then forward. But this is not the truth. Life is a series of falls and rises. Some of them are big and alter our lives in profound ways. Some of them are small and seemingly inconsequential. But all our falls are opportunities to rise, having grown and hopefully bettered ourselves.
I am in the middle of a fall at present. From Miss Sucky’s perspective, my whole world is crumbling around me and melting into an abyss of nothingness. Miss Awesome knows better. What seems like a never ending merry –go-round of pain and agony is in actuality only temporal. This too shall pass. I can and will pick myself up from the ashes and rise again. And instead of fighting it, I have decided to embrace this fall. I know that even in my hurt, my brokenness and my disillusionment, that my life still is something beautiful and worth fighting for.
I’ve had moments recently when Miss Sucky has swept in with her pessimistic attitude and laid out a pretty convincing reason or two to give up. But I am not Miss Sucky. I am Miss Awesome, and even in this pit of despair, that is my truth. So I look back over the year with mixed feelings but no regrets. I am glad that I am so capable of loving. That I am willing to be in touch with my emotions and give them room. So many people allow their past hurts to stay with them. They carry them forward into the next chapters of their lives and allow those hurts to tarnish all that they touch.
It is my mission to not let all my pain color and distort my future. Bad things befall us all. Life is hard. It hurts. Sometimes we take a sucker punch to the jaw. But we must find a way to move beyond the pieces. I refuse to allow my past and current hurts to dictate my coming year. Instead, I look forward to 2012. May it be a year of growth. May I fall and rise again and again. I welcome its breath on my face. I anticipate that, like previous years, 2012 will be one of highs and lows. I have learnt so much this past year. Most of this learning has come from the fires of suffering. But I am a better, stronger and healthier person for those experiences. Miss Sucky may tremble at the thought of another oncoming year, but Miss Awesome raises up her hands and shouts “Here I am!” So thank you 2011, for all that has been. And Welcome 2012…. May this year be as rich and chaotic and challenging and wonderful as those that have come before.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
What a Girl Wants
What do I really want?
It's a question I've been asking myself for a while now. Truthfully, this post is probably a little too personal for comfort. But this blog is about my life and this is the "Year of the Sally," so personal is what I need to be right now. Actually, honest is what I need to be right now.
I've lost my way. Somewhere between the need to be true to myself, I've found that I've been covering up who I am. Why? Mostly because I've let my self doubt invade my mind and step all over my dreams.And it's not just my self doubt, fear and insecurity that's been having a field day inwardly. It's other people. I'm an emotional being. I feel strongly, deeply and openly. This is a great attribute, but sometimes it can lead me down paths that should not be forged or traversed. People will step all over people like me. I'm kind, generous, forgiving, honest, sincere and, as time proves over and over again, easily taken advantage of. So what does someone like me do to maintain those attributes which are so precious and rare without being a stomping ground for broken and burdened people? I haven't quite found the answer to that yet.
Some of my friends suggest I harden up. But I don't think that is necessarily the answer. The world is full of hardened people. It's easier to build gates and walls and block the entrance ways to your heart and head. It's simpler to set yourself in a fortress where no stones or sticks or people can reach you. I don't want to build walls around my life to be easier or simpler just in order to "harden" up. Humanity needs people like me- big old softies with compassion and empathy and a willingness to love freely and without judgment. We are a rare breed and everyday we risk extinction by being willing to put ourselves out there. So I'm fighting for my survival. I'm fighting to stay true to who i am. But, and there is a but, I need to learn how to still be me and not just a doormat.
This is gonna be difficult. Maybe even impossible.
We are broken people. Every single person on this planet has been broken somewhere along the way. Some of these breaks are teeny tiny, invisible to the naked eye. Some breaks are so massive they are like a gaping vortex of destruction- sucking along everyone and everything in its path. It's OK to be broken- it is a part of being human. What's not OK is to use your brokenness as an excuse to hurt and destroy others.
So what do I want? Really, truly want? The answer lies within. It has always been there- etched in my soul. It's time that I fought for it. For myself. It's time I stood up and chased the dream, the desire, the insatiable need to expand my horizons and fulfill my purpose. It's time that this girl stopped focusing on others to the detriment of her own hopes and dreams. I love people. I am excited and passionate about helping others be all they can be. It's about time that I took that same enthusiasm and drive for others and applied it to myself. It's long overdue.
It's a question I've been asking myself for a while now. Truthfully, this post is probably a little too personal for comfort. But this blog is about my life and this is the "Year of the Sally," so personal is what I need to be right now. Actually, honest is what I need to be right now.
I've lost my way. Somewhere between the need to be true to myself, I've found that I've been covering up who I am. Why? Mostly because I've let my self doubt invade my mind and step all over my dreams.And it's not just my self doubt, fear and insecurity that's been having a field day inwardly. It's other people. I'm an emotional being. I feel strongly, deeply and openly. This is a great attribute, but sometimes it can lead me down paths that should not be forged or traversed. People will step all over people like me. I'm kind, generous, forgiving, honest, sincere and, as time proves over and over again, easily taken advantage of. So what does someone like me do to maintain those attributes which are so precious and rare without being a stomping ground for broken and burdened people? I haven't quite found the answer to that yet.
Some of my friends suggest I harden up. But I don't think that is necessarily the answer. The world is full of hardened people. It's easier to build gates and walls and block the entrance ways to your heart and head. It's simpler to set yourself in a fortress where no stones or sticks or people can reach you. I don't want to build walls around my life to be easier or simpler just in order to "harden" up. Humanity needs people like me- big old softies with compassion and empathy and a willingness to love freely and without judgment. We are a rare breed and everyday we risk extinction by being willing to put ourselves out there. So I'm fighting for my survival. I'm fighting to stay true to who i am. But, and there is a but, I need to learn how to still be me and not just a doormat.
This is gonna be difficult. Maybe even impossible.
We are broken people. Every single person on this planet has been broken somewhere along the way. Some of these breaks are teeny tiny, invisible to the naked eye. Some breaks are so massive they are like a gaping vortex of destruction- sucking along everyone and everything in its path. It's OK to be broken- it is a part of being human. What's not OK is to use your brokenness as an excuse to hurt and destroy others.
So what do I want? Really, truly want? The answer lies within. It has always been there- etched in my soul. It's time that I fought for it. For myself. It's time I stood up and chased the dream, the desire, the insatiable need to expand my horizons and fulfill my purpose. It's time that this girl stopped focusing on others to the detriment of her own hopes and dreams. I love people. I am excited and passionate about helping others be all they can be. It's about time that I took that same enthusiasm and drive for others and applied it to myself. It's long overdue.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Dad
Eleven years ago, my life was irrevocably changed. The world and what I knew of it ceased to exist. Time has ticked away, as it has always done, moving moments and years between the day my whole world imploded and now. I am not the girl I was before October 9th 2000. I am more jaded, more honest, more grateful.
Death changes you. It challenges us to take stock of our lives. My Father's passing was the single most traumatic and hideous experience of my life. Worse than anything else that can be imagined is losing someone you love so much. When death touches us, as it inevitably does, it forces us to face our own mortality and that of those we love. In a weird way it is the gift death offers us. As I sit here, thinking about the man I was blessed to call dad I can't help but wonder what might have been had he lived. Where would my life have gone had I had my dad to lean on? Would I have married? Had children? Pushed harder for my career? Would I have the relationship I share now with my mother and siblings?
Losing my father forced me to grow up. It forces me now, to hold dear this precious gift I've been given. Life is short. We should make it count. So today, as I contemplate my fathers life and my loss, I pledge following:
I promise to always remember that life is what you make of it. Hard times will come and go. Pain will wrap itself around me. Despair will roll in like a thunderstorm on a cloudy day. But life is a privilege and joy. And those tough times add depth and beauty to who I am.
I promise to let the people in my life know how much they mean to me. My father never let a day go by without telling and showing me he loved me. I strive to do the same for my friends and family.
I promise that even when I feel down and out...I won't give up or give in. I will hold onto the truth that I am Miss Awesome and life is beautiful.
I promise to take my life and make something of it...in whatever way i can. And be of service and comfort to others.
I was a lucky girl. My father was an amazing man. Here I am eleven years on, and time has only solidified what I remember of my father. He was generous, kind, intelligent and witty. He had an infectious laugh,and such a mischievous sparkle in his blue eyes. He was compassionate and always went above and beyond to help and support others. He was gentle and strong and I never once doubted my fathers love. I only hope that I can be a true reflection of my father and that coupled with my own talents, ideas and personality traits, I can be a woman who makes a difference. And make my father proud.
Love you Daddy
Death changes you. It challenges us to take stock of our lives. My Father's passing was the single most traumatic and hideous experience of my life. Worse than anything else that can be imagined is losing someone you love so much. When death touches us, as it inevitably does, it forces us to face our own mortality and that of those we love. In a weird way it is the gift death offers us. As I sit here, thinking about the man I was blessed to call dad I can't help but wonder what might have been had he lived. Where would my life have gone had I had my dad to lean on? Would I have married? Had children? Pushed harder for my career? Would I have the relationship I share now with my mother and siblings?
Losing my father forced me to grow up. It forces me now, to hold dear this precious gift I've been given. Life is short. We should make it count. So today, as I contemplate my fathers life and my loss, I pledge following:
I promise to always remember that life is what you make of it. Hard times will come and go. Pain will wrap itself around me. Despair will roll in like a thunderstorm on a cloudy day. But life is a privilege and joy. And those tough times add depth and beauty to who I am.
I promise to let the people in my life know how much they mean to me. My father never let a day go by without telling and showing me he loved me. I strive to do the same for my friends and family.
I promise that even when I feel down and out...I won't give up or give in. I will hold onto the truth that I am Miss Awesome and life is beautiful.
I promise to take my life and make something of it...in whatever way i can. And be of service and comfort to others.
I was a lucky girl. My father was an amazing man. Here I am eleven years on, and time has only solidified what I remember of my father. He was generous, kind, intelligent and witty. He had an infectious laugh,and such a mischievous sparkle in his blue eyes. He was compassionate and always went above and beyond to help and support others. He was gentle and strong and I never once doubted my fathers love. I only hope that I can be a true reflection of my father and that coupled with my own talents, ideas and personality traits, I can be a woman who makes a difference. And make my father proud.
Love you Daddy
Monday, August 8, 2011
Think, Feel, Do
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do."
John Ruskin
I am a big thinker. I think constantly. I over-analyze. I weigh up all the percentages. I contemplate, I fret, I go round and round in circles until I wear myself out with all this thinking. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE to think! I'm glad that underneath this mass of blonde hair lies grey matter that is vibrant and energetic and full of wonderful thoughts. I'm grateful that I have a brain that gets regularly exercised (more than my body to be honest :/ ) and that it is the source of my creativity, my intelligence and my wit. Let's face it folks- this blog would suck bigger than the gravitational pull of a black hole in space if my brain wasn't at least a little bit awesome :)
But as much as thinking can be your friend...it can also be your foe. We've all had those restless nights where the switch in your brain is broken (or in my case, seems to go on rambling holidays to unknown destinations) and nothing seems to be able to stop the flood of thoughts from swirling around like an ill-gotten vortex. You lie there willing yourself to shut down, or at the very least go on 'standby' so that you can slip into the merciful being we know as unconsciousness. And yet, in spite of yourself, in spite of silent pleas and exasperated sighs and the odd flung pillow, you remain caught up in your thoughts. Like a spider web, and you're the fly.
Thinking thoughts are both blight and balm to existence. We can't live without them- but sometimes it sure would be nice to lock them up in a nice little box and toss aside the keys :)
The quote at the top of this blog got me thinking, ironic I know, about what it means to live. Now I am certainly no Philosopher, but I do agree that its not insomuch what we think or even feel that creates our life, it is in what we do.
Life is about motion. It's about living and doing and being. It's not a spectator sport. It's not a test. It's not lived out in pages or screens or day dreams. Life is happening, here, now. A life with no regrets requires action. Like someone? Tell em! Want something? go after it! It really seems ridiculously simple, but at the heart of it all- life is simply a series of actions. And we all make choices based on thoughts and feelings and being... And doing nothing is as much an action as doing something.
So the lesson Miss Awesome is striving for this week, is to LIVE! To not just be content to wallow in thoughts or get caught up in feelings- but to take the thoughts and feelings and apply them into forward motion. Time to step up and out, and take the risk. After all, what's the worst that can happen? I might fail, I might be rejected and maybe even make a few bad judgement calls along the way...but life is worth the risk and it's all about the doing.
"What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do."
John Ruskin
I am a big thinker. I think constantly. I over-analyze. I weigh up all the percentages. I contemplate, I fret, I go round and round in circles until I wear myself out with all this thinking. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE to think! I'm glad that underneath this mass of blonde hair lies grey matter that is vibrant and energetic and full of wonderful thoughts. I'm grateful that I have a brain that gets regularly exercised (more than my body to be honest :/ ) and that it is the source of my creativity, my intelligence and my wit. Let's face it folks- this blog would suck bigger than the gravitational pull of a black hole in space if my brain wasn't at least a little bit awesome :)
But as much as thinking can be your friend...it can also be your foe. We've all had those restless nights where the switch in your brain is broken (or in my case, seems to go on rambling holidays to unknown destinations) and nothing seems to be able to stop the flood of thoughts from swirling around like an ill-gotten vortex. You lie there willing yourself to shut down, or at the very least go on 'standby' so that you can slip into the merciful being we know as unconsciousness. And yet, in spite of yourself, in spite of silent pleas and exasperated sighs and the odd flung pillow, you remain caught up in your thoughts. Like a spider web, and you're the fly.
Thinking thoughts are both blight and balm to existence. We can't live without them- but sometimes it sure would be nice to lock them up in a nice little box and toss aside the keys :)
The quote at the top of this blog got me thinking, ironic I know, about what it means to live. Now I am certainly no Philosopher, but I do agree that its not insomuch what we think or even feel that creates our life, it is in what we do.
Life is about motion. It's about living and doing and being. It's not a spectator sport. It's not a test. It's not lived out in pages or screens or day dreams. Life is happening, here, now. A life with no regrets requires action. Like someone? Tell em! Want something? go after it! It really seems ridiculously simple, but at the heart of it all- life is simply a series of actions. And we all make choices based on thoughts and feelings and being... And doing nothing is as much an action as doing something.
So the lesson Miss Awesome is striving for this week, is to LIVE! To not just be content to wallow in thoughts or get caught up in feelings- but to take the thoughts and feelings and apply them into forward motion. Time to step up and out, and take the risk. After all, what's the worst that can happen? I might fail, I might be rejected and maybe even make a few bad judgement calls along the way...but life is worth the risk and it's all about the doing.
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