Dad

Eleven years ago, my life was irrevocably changed. The world and what I knew of it ceased to exist. Time has ticked away, as it has always done, moving moments and years between the day my whole world imploded and now. I am not the girl I was before October 9th 2000. I am more jaded, more honest, more grateful.

Death changes you. It challenges us to take stock of our lives. My Father's passing was the single most traumatic and hideous experience of my life. Worse than anything else that can be imagined is losing someone you love so much. When death touches us, as it inevitably does, it forces us to face our own mortality and that of those we love. In a weird way it is the gift death offers us. As I sit here, thinking about the man I was blessed to call dad I can't help but wonder what might have been had he lived. Where would my life have gone had I had my dad to lean on? Would I have married? Had children? Pushed harder for my career? Would I have the relationship I share now with my mother and siblings?

Losing my father forced me to grow up. It forces me now, to hold dear this precious gift I've been given. Life is short. We should make it count. So today, as I contemplate my fathers life and my loss, I pledge following:

I promise to always remember that life is what you make of it. Hard times will come and go. Pain will wrap itself around me. Despair will roll in like a thunderstorm on a cloudy day. But life is a privilege and joy. And those tough times add depth and beauty to who I am.

I promise to let the people in my life know how much they mean to me. My father never let a day go by without telling and showing me he loved me. I strive to do the same for my friends and family.

I promise that even when I feel down and out...I won't give up or give in. I will hold onto the truth that I am Miss Awesome and life is beautiful.

I promise to take my life and make something of it...in whatever way i can. And be of service and comfort to others.


I was a lucky girl. My father was an amazing man. Here I am eleven years on, and time has only solidified what I remember of my father. He was generous, kind, intelligent and witty. He had an infectious laugh,and such a mischievous sparkle in his blue eyes. He was compassionate and always went above and beyond to help and support others. He was gentle and strong and I never once doubted my fathers love. I only hope that I can be a true reflection of my father and that coupled with my own talents, ideas and personality traits, I can be a woman who makes a difference. And make my father proud.

Love you Daddy