Take Me or Leave Me Baby

Not everybody likes me. This realization a few years ago would have made me cry. But now, it doesn't really come as a shock. After all, I can't expect everyone to like me when I can't and don't like everyone. While I always try to show respect to everyone I meet, there are some people who no matter what you or they do, you just don't like them. Sometimes they can be obvious reasons. And sometimes, it's not something you can put your finger on, more just a knowing on the inside that this person and you go together about as well as pigs on ice skates. I have learned to understand that despite my obvious awesomeness, some people don't like, get or appreciate me. My honesty, my 'live life loud' nature and even my laugh can, and probably do, rub people the wrong way. I used to care about that. I wanted to be Miss Popular, Miss Congeniality. You know the girl who you look at and think "I wish I was just like that girl," girl.

Now, I realize that life is not a popularity contest. I don't need other peoples approval. Because honestly, the only person that matters most in the "who likes me" game is- ME! And if I don't really, truly like myself, then I can't expect others to either.

We can spend our whole lives chasing this idea that we must 'be all things to all people" and must have everyone we encounter like us rather than live our lives being true to who we are. I guess the problem is, so many of us don't really know who we are. We look to the media, to celebrities, to religion, to our jobs, to other people to tell us who we are, or who we should be. And even if we do know who we are, we are often so scared of being rejected that we refuse to step into all we can be. Wanting everyone to like you is a sign of being both self centered and insecure. And understanding that not everyone will like you does not mean that it is a reflection on you- although it sure does feel like it!

As I walk the path of self- discovery and step more and more into who I am, I must be prepared for the inevitable. I will lose friends. I will lose people who I thought I could count on forever. Because when you break out of the box that people put you in, they don't know what to do. People want to smash you back into the box and squish on the lid because it's safer for them. But once out, who would ever want to go back? I like this Sally. The one who feels freer than she has ever been. The one who doesn't feel restricted by peoples perceptions or constricted to fit a mold that wasn't meant for me. So I will lose friends as I enter into who I am. And that is just fine.

It doesn't mean to say that I won't mourn the loss of these friendships. Sometimes, its very hard to let something or someone go. We can resist letting go of things or people that we know deep down we should. Some people are gifts that stay in our lives always, and others are gifts for just a season. The hard thing is knowing which is which. I am grateful for all the people who have traversed the roads in my life. Some have broken the road into pieces and created obstructions and others have made the road a little less rocky. All have taught me something. I am a better, stronger and more compassionate person for having been touched and challenged and changed by those who have walked through my life. But I recognize now, more than ever, that this really is my one shot. This is my life and I must choose to live it the way that defines me. So I brace myself to lose friends, to be 'disapproved of' to be judged by people who don't or won't even attempt to understand me.

But I will gain more than I lose. I gain me. I gain my truth. And I gain people who do appreciate what makes me a unique and wonderful individual. I don't need the world's adoration. I don't even need my family's approval. I need to just own myself. And be brave enough to be the Sally I was always created to be. Because, she's a pretty wonderful girl. And that is not just my truth, but it is a truth for each and every one of us. It's time we remembered that life is short and not always sweet. But when we live an authentic life our sorrows are far fewer. So, you can take me or leave me. That's ok. I'm good with that. Because this is me. This is who I am and I am here to stay.