To fail or not to fail? To fail!

There are four little letters that can bring a grown man to his knees, make a person run screaming from the room (at least metaphorically speaking) and create chaos in your mind. Four little letters that make up one little word. One little word. Seems harmless right? Yet one little word can cause big problems. The word I'm talking about today people is "Fail." Or lets take it one step further and add 'ure' or 'ing' to the end of that word. Like most people, I don't take failure easily. In fact, it bothers me to the core of my being that I might fail at anything I do. But there are times that even in my awesomeness I fall short. Sometimes, I fail. There, I said it and the sky did not fall down around me and the ground did not open up and swallow me whole. Sometimes, in some things, I fail. And that's just the way it is. As I've moved further afield from my teens and twenties I've discovered that sometimes failing is not such a big deal. And more importantly; failing and failure are not inseparable. You see, I can fail but not be a failure or be a failure and not fail. Stick with me here, because this concept might need better clarity.

There are people in life who seem like they have it all; money, cars, houses, travel to exotic locales. They have everything that the world of commerce says "This is what makes me successful." It's easy to look at the stuff they have accumulated and think "I'm a failure." But having things or going to all the hot clubs or knowing all the 'right' people does not determine the measure of a man. You can have all the riches in the world, but if you have no integrity, no empathy, no relationships that enrich your life, then it means nothing. This is what I mean by being a failure and not 'failing.' We place a lot of pressure on ourselves and others to live up to this concept that you are only successful if you have money and power. Success is more than just your bank balance and who you rub shoulders with. Money is great and I wish I had a lot more of it, but I know that my character has been forged in the fires of failing (or flailing) and still getting up and pursuing my dreams. I'm not suggesting that anyone who has anything of value (again in possessions etc) are personal failures. And I'm not advocating that people who struggle their entire lives to eek out an existence are better people inwardly than those who 'have it all' outwardly. You see being a failure, in my opinion, comes down to a persons inability to love themselves or see the worth in others. It's ultimately about being true to yourself and living a life that enhances those around you. It's being willing to go after what captures your imagination, what gets your heart racing and what makes you feel life is worth living. For some people, it is property and possessions that give them their self-worth. For others it is intellectual pursuits and for some others it is in their job or their family. We are all people with substance, with passions and aspirations and plans for the way we would like our lives to be. Not one person who lives and breathes on this planet is better than anyone else. And not one of us get through life without feeling the sometimes staggering blow of failure. You may constantly feel like you are failing in life, but for every step that you take forward, for every time you pick your crumpled self up off the floor, for every positive thought that overrides a negative one, you attain success. Success is not always measured in glitzy gowns and prize packages. It's not always obvious. Sometimes it's that wee voice that battles through a raging storm of a troubled mind and incites you on.

The fear of failure or failing often immobilizers us. It's certainly kept me from pursuing my passions. I've been so scared of failing, that I haven't even bothered trying. I've lived for years listening to "What if's?" and only dared to dream but never move beyond my fantasies and wishful thinking. I've let my fear of failing stifle any chance for success. If I spend my whole life doing that, then I will have failed. It's in failing that we learn more about ourselves, about the world and about being open to new possibilities. If you are open to recognizing the lessons that come out of 'failing' and willing to venture down different avenues then you will always turn short term failings into long term successes.

Failing does not define you as a person. It is what you do after you have failed that determines your character. Do you have the tenacity to stand strong in the face of your fears? Do you have the courage to chase your dreams? Are you willing to recognize that sometimes when a 'sure thing' fails it can lead you down the perfect path to the promised land?

I've started to look at failing as just an alternative pathway on my road to success! It might not always be the road I imagined I would go down, but the destination remains the same. I am excited to fail...because it means that at least I'm putting action to my dreams. I am about to send off some children's stories to publishing houses. More than likely, they will be rejected. But then at least I will know that there are four publishing houses on my list that I will not have to worry about.*_* When, and if, I do "make it," it won't be solely on my successes, but also in all the broken steps bridged by a compulsion to 'sally' forth in spite of all my failures. So go ahead and fail, it makes the journey (life) worth it.